Commonwealth_ For Joan St Clair, menopause was a hidden journey. Growing up in a Caribbean household, she never heard the term discussed, not by her mother or her elder sister, nor by any other women in her life. “I was like ‘meno-who?’” she recalls. “I never heard the word. It was a shock to me.” Her experience mirrors that of many women within the Caribbean community, where menopause remains a quiet, almost taboo subject. “As a woman, you have to stand up for the family,” she explains. “You don’t want to show weakness.” This silence left Joan unaware of her own menopausal transition until her doctor visit at 50, prompted by irregular periods. The diagnosis that she was going through menopause was a surprise, leading her to research the process. It was only then that she discovered she had unknowingly been experiencing perimenopause for some time. The more she learnt, the more she realized how crucial it was for women, especially those from traditionally reserved communities, to be better informed about menopause.
Determined to make a difference, Joan, now 61, launched Reading’s first “menopause café” earlier this month, envisioning it as a supportive space for women to openly discuss their experiences. What started as a small initiative targeting the Caribbean community has since broadened its reach, drawing women from different ethnic backgrounds, including Asian communities, who also feel the weight of silence around the subject. Women gather at the café to share stories, support one another, and access accurate information on a historically stigmatized topic. “We need to be more vocal,” Joan says, emphasizing the importance of awareness and knowledge. “We need to understand and have that knowledge that we can pass onto our children.”
While the café’s primary goal is to create a safe space for open discussion, it also serves a larger purpose. Many women who attend have, like Joan, endured menopausal symptoms without understanding what was happening to their bodies. Some, feeling isolated, have suffered in silence for years, avoiding conversations with family or friends. Joan’s initiative empowers them to break this silence and advocate for their health, which is particularly significant for women of Caribbean and Asian descent, where cultural expectations often add pressure to maintain a stoic front.
One café member, Melvina, shares her view on the space’s transformative potential. For her, the café is about reclaiming life and well-being amidst the sometimes overwhelming symptoms of menopause. “It’s about learning to have a good quality of life and not letting these symptoms take our mobility, our joy,” she explains. For Melvina and many others, understanding their bodies is a crucial first step toward managing the physical and emotional impacts of menopause, which can include hot flashes, sleep disturbances, mood swings, and more. The café is more than a place for venting frustrations; it’s a resource hub, a place to swap advice on managing symptoms, and a reminder of the collective experience many women share. Regular discussions cover topics such as hormonal treatments, lifestyle adjustments, and alternative therapies, with participants finding comfort in the realization that they’re not alone in their struggles. Joan hopes that the café will inspire women to share what they’ve learned with their families, breaking the cycle of silence that has persisted across generations. For Joan, the idea that future generations might grow up with open, informed conversations around menopause is a powerful motivator. By fostering dialogue, she believes that the stigma around menopause can be lessened and women can approach this life stage with knowledge rather than fear or uncertainty.
