International Women’s Day is often centred on rights, representation, education and economic independence of women. Each day we see women, around the world, continue to push boundaries and challenge structures that once confined them. Amidst these important discussions, a quieter and more profound question emerges. What does it truly mean to be free?
Venerable Bhikkhuni Gotami joined the Commonwealth Union in a discussion to explore this deeper dimension of liberation and examine freedom beyond policies and positions — freedom of the mind.
“In Buddhism, true freedom is not political or social first but mental. The Buddha teaches that real liberation (vimutti) is freedom from craving (tanhā), attachment and ignorance. A person may live in comfort yet be imprisoned by desire, fear or comparison. Another may live simply yet be inwardly free. True freedom arises when the mind is no longer enslaved by ‘I need this or that to be happy’. It is not about having control over the world. It is about not being controlled by the world,” she said, explaining what Buddhism say about freedom and how one can be truly free.
Ven. Gotami also shared her thoughts on how a woman can be educated, have money and status and still feel unhappy. “Education and success expand external opportunities but they do not automatically resolve inner insecurity. A woman, just like everyone, may achieve status yet still suffer from comparison, fear of losing beauty, fear of being replaced or fear of not being enough. Buddhism reminds us that suffering does not disappear through accumulation. It disappears through understanding.”
Women today carry many roles — daughter, wife, mother, professional. How can a woman manage these responsibilities without mental exhaustion? “Exhaustion does not come only from responsibility. It comes from identification. When a woman thinks “I must be perfect in all roles”, she suffers. When she understands, “These roles are functions, not my permanent self.” There is space. You can play many roles without becoming trapped inside them. Another important aspect is being able to find a good friend, a good partner, a good companion that can make your life more enjoyable and secured, someone who is willing to help you and shares your duties. Having a good “kalyanamitta” makes the journey easier, as both share the same ideals, rhythms and routines,” she said.
Explaining what Buddhism say about a woman’s freedom from attachment, jealousy, comparison and fear, she said these are not ‘female problems’. “They are human conditions. Attachment arises from craving. Jealousy arises from insecurity. Comparison arises from ego. Fear arises from clinging. The Buddha does not say to suppress them. He says, “Understand them.” When you see clearly how attachment creates suffering, it begins to loosen naturally.”
She said meditation can be helpful for a woman to reduce anxiety about appearance, success or others’ opinion. “Meditation shifts attention from the external gaze to internal awareness. When a woman sits in meditation, she experiences herself without mirrors, without audience, without validation. She begins to see that “This body changes. This reputation changes. Thoughts about me change.” When identity softens, anxiety softens as well,” Venerable Gotami said.
She also spoke on how understanding impermanence (anicca) help women deal with disappointment and change. “Impermanence is not pessimism. It is realism. Beauty changes, relationships change. Careers change. Children grow. Status fades. When a woman deeply understands `anicca’ she does not cling as tightly. She loves but without illusion of permanence,”
She added that mindfulness help women accept themselves without constantly trying to prove their worth. “Mindfulness teaches observation without judgment. When you observe your thoughts “I am not enough”, “I must do more” and “I must look better”, you begin to see they are mental patterns, not truths. Acceptance does not mean stagnation. It means steady growth without self-hatred,” Venerable said.
“Social freedom can be removed. Status can be lost. Rights can change. Inner freedom cannot be confiscated. The deepest freedom is not granted by society. Society is changing every single second. But a clear mind is unshaken,” she added.
Speaking on balancing outer success and inner peace, she said “Outer success without inner peace leads to burnout. Inner peace without engagement may lead to stagnation. Balance comes from intention. Ask, “Am I achieving to prove my worth? Or am I contributing from wholeness?” When success is rooted in insecurity, it exhausts. When it is rooted in clarity, it flows. The true liberation of a woman is not choosing between inner and outer freedom. It is mastering the inner while skillfully navigating the outer.”
Venerable Gotamī is an Italian-born Theravāda Buddhist nun whose life story is marked by faith and fierce transformation. Born in Catania, Sicily, in January 1999, she was raised in a working-class family. From a young age, she learned not to expect safety from the world around her. The house was not a refuge, and so she built one inside her — through books, knowledge, and later, the Dhamma.
As a teenager, she encountered Buddhism almost by accident, when a science teacher mentioned a local Sri Lankan temple in class. Intrigued, she began visiting in secret. That place, with its peace, chants, and silence became her second home. She was sixteen. This made her connection with Asia and especially Sri Lanka deeper and deeper, a bond that is still there today. School was a battlefield she survived with books. She was intelligent, but often distracted and emotionally exhausted by her surroundings. Still, language became her escape. She learned Chinese, studied English, memorised verses in Pāli. Words were her shield. When she moved to Naples for university, it felt like tasting air for the first time. There, for the first time, she didn’t have to hide who she was becoming. She began sharing Dhamma reflections online, experimenting with live talks in Chinese and English, reaching strangers who would later become students, friends, donors or witnesses to her becoming. Her dream was to make Dhamma accessible and simple.
At twenty-two, she travelled to Myanmar alone, during political unrest, and was ordained as a Buddhist nun in a forest monastery. That moment marked the beginning of a new story. She began travelling across the U.S.A., Sri Lanka, India, Australia, and Southeast Asia, teaching the Dhamma in four languages: English, Chinese, Italian, and Sinhala.
Today, Venerable Gotamī divides her time between Sri Lanka and the Mahā Rakkhita Buddhist Temple in Dallas, Texas, where she serves as Secretary, leads children’s Dhamma programs, and coordinates global outreach. While she continues to study the scriptures and teachings, her vision for the near future is clear: to found a temple-school where abandoned children and young women can grow in wisdom and love — a place where no one has to hide their feelings, where truth is practiced with tenderness, and where people can be brought from darkness to light through the Dhamma.
