Table of Contents
- Establishing clear communication
- Showing emotional support
- Dealing with jealousy
- Setting boundaries
- Problems with building trust in open relationships
Establishing Clear Communication
Partners must openly discuss their desires, boundaries, and expectations regarding their relationships and interactions with others. Trust grows when both feel heard and respected. Being truthful about feelings, experiences, and mistakes reinforces confidence in the relationship. A recent survey conducted on around 700 participants found that people who were more honest in their daily interactions were more likely to feel satisfied and had better self-control.
Beliefs about attachment are a common reason people lie. A person might feel uncomfortable sharing with a partner who has an avoidant attachment style, leading them to keep secrets. Open communication bridges these gaps, ensuring that even difficult topics are addressed constructively. Moreover, creating a safe space for open dialogue encourages transparency and reduces misunderstandings, which are often the root cause of trust issues.
Showing Emotional Support
Showing emotional availability and support, even when partners explore relationships with others, is crucial. This reassures both individuals that their primary bond remains strong. Responding to concerns or insecurities with empathy builds a safe environment for both partners.
Regular check-ins and active listening enhance emotional support. Simple gestures like validating feelings or expressing appreciation can go a long way in maintaining connection and reducing the anxiety associated with open relationships. Emotional resilience can also be strengthened by acknowledging each partner’s efforts to nurture the relationship, reinforcing the shared commitment.
Dealing with Jealousy
Trust helps partners address jealousy without blame or conflict. Discussing feelings openly and without judgment fosters mutual understanding and reduces the fear of abandonment.
Reassurance through words and actions (e.g., affirming the value of the primary relationship) mitigates insecurity. Soft swinging can be an effective segue into full-blown non-monogamy. However, jealousy management also requires self-reflection; understanding personal triggers and working to address them individually is as important as mutual efforts within the relationship. Journaling, therapy, or mindfulness practices can aid in managing such feelings. Learning to celebrate a partner’s joy in other relationships rather than viewing it as a threat can further diminish jealousy and strengthen trust.
Setting Boundaries
Clear agreements about what is acceptable and what is not (e.g., types of connections and frequency of outside relationships) are essential. Trust is built when these boundaries are consistently respected.
Adjusting boundaries over time based on changing needs and circumstances, with mutual consent, strengthens trust. The subject of boundaries is worth exploring in more detail. A 2023 YouGov survey asked Americans about their views on romantic relationships and boundaries, and 42% said that they set boundaries on their own behavior and not their partners. 36% confirmed it was acceptable to ask a partner to change their behaviors according to their boundaries.
Boundaries should also be revisited periodically to ensure they align with the evolving dynamics of the relationship. This ensures that both partners remain on the same page, minimizing misunderstandings and fostering a sense of security. Boundary-setting is not just about rules but about fostering mutual respect and ensuring emotional safety for both individuals.
Problems with Building Trust in Open Relationships
In keeping with the above, boundary violations are one of the main problems with building trust in an unconventional arrangement. One partner may unknowingly cross a boundary, such as not disclosing an outside relationship or exceeding agreed-upon limits.
Partners’ needs and comfort levels may evolve, requiring ongoing negotiation and adjustments, which can lead to tension or resentment. Ensuring that both the primary relationship and external connections receive adequate attention can be challenging and may cause strain.
Some partners might struggle to balance the needs of their primary relationship with their own desires or the needs of secondary partners. Without consistent emotional validation, a partner might feel less important or prioritized in the relationship. Such validation is also important in conventional relationships. A recent study explored emotional validation between partners in the context of positive and engaging vs negative and passive responses. The way couples respond to each other has a strong effect on their satisfaction and well-being. Couples who divorced or separated during the six years after the study had received positive and engaging responses just 33% of the time.
In contrast, those who were still together after the six-year period received such responses 87% of the time. Healthy partners met each other’s emotional needs almost 90% of the time by the seemingly simple trio of validating, listening, and reflecting. By observing these interactions, the researchers were able to predict whether couples would be together and happy, together and unhappy, or no longer together, with an accuracy of up to 94% a few years down the road. These findings underline the importance of consistent emotional validation in maintaining trust and stability in any relationship.
Conclusion
Trust is the cornerstone of both open and conventional relationships, but its significance is magnified in non-monogamous dynamics. Clear communication, emotional support, effective boundary-setting, and mutual validation create a strong foundation that can help partners navigate the complexities of open relationships. By fostering transparency, addressing insecurities constructively, and revisiting boundaries as relationships evolve, partners can strengthen their connection. Ultimately, the ability to build and maintain trust determines the success of any relationship, open or otherwise, offering partners a chance to grow closer while embracing their unique journeys together.
FAQ
Is an open relationship the best way to show trust and commitment between two people?
If it were, all relationships would probably be open. Talking about everything openly and honestly is a simpler way to demonstrate trust and commitment in a relationship.
How can I make an open relationship work?
First, ask yourself if you can handle one. If the thought of your partner with another person makes you uneasy, it’s not for you.
People who thrive in open relationships set boundaries in every aspect and stick to them or adjust them as needed. If your partner has any concerns, listen and try to understand where they’re coming from.
